In a society that is becoming increasingly open to topics once considered too risqué for public discussion, “good sex” is not always readily available. Every person has their own tastes and needs, and it’s important to know how to tell your girlfriend what you like. It can also be frustrating if things went well with a past partner but not so well this time. Don’t fret! There are some tried-and-true ways you can make her happy again in the bedroom. With these tips in mind, you’ll never have trouble satisfying your woman again — or getting her out of your system for good.

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How can couples make sex better?

You can’t blame a girl for her insecurities — men can be awfully intimidating — and one area where women often doubt their abilities is the bedroom. By reassuring your girlfriend that she’s turning you on, you’ll make her want to fulfill your every desire.
“The best way to get women to enjoy sex is by telling them how much they turn you on,” says Kimberly Resnick Anderson, author of The Sexually Confident Girl. “It makes them receptive and eager because they don’t typically hear those words.”

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How can I be more sexually intimate with my girlfriend?

If your girlfriend doesn’t feel like she can be open with you sexually, then it’s time to give her the confidence boost she needs. “Women want to be touched, caressed, and kissed affectionately,” says Anderson. “Regular sex is not enough. Women enjoy a wide range of sensual activities.”

The hottest tip for having better sex? Just kiss. “Kissing is an extremely important activity for sexual pleasure,” says New York City-based sex therapist Fran Walfish, author of The Self-Aware Parent. “A woman can orgasm with just kissing if it builds slowly and passionately, but if kissing is absent or sloppy, it may as well be absent from the sexual relationship.”

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How much sex is normal?

No one should have to have sex on a daily or even weekly basis, but if you’re having it less than once a month, chances are that your relationship is in trouble. “The amount of sex in a relationship depends on the needs of the couple and the pleasure they derive from being intimate,” says Walfish. “However, there should not be any lack of sexual contact.”

How do you get over a sexless relationship?

If your girlfriend is avoiding sex for whatever reason, you need to take charge of the situation. “It’s important to be direct and ask why she’s not having sex,” says Anderson. “Sometimes it’s because he has been insensitive or critical about her appearance.” If your relationship is in trouble, take a good look at yourself. “Most guys would be surprised to know how much women talk about their sex life,” says Resnick Anderson. “I’ve worked with many men who don’t put a lot of importance on this area, but it’s always the woman who makes the first move in making sure she’s turned on.”

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Don’t be afraid to ask what you can do differently. “Sometimes he’s not aware of his effect on her, so she needs to tell him how it makes her feel,” says Anderson. Sometimes that means asking for more than just sex — she might want more cuddling, too.

Can I have sex every day?

The more sex you have, the greater the risk of sexually transmitted infections. “It’s only healthy to have sex a few times a week,” says Walfish. “Men who can’t control their sexual urges should have a physical because of the signs and symptoms of prostate cancer.”

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Can I get a sex prescription?

Pills are available for women and men who want to feel more sexually attracted to others, but they come with risks. “You can take both estrogen and testosterone, but they’re not suitable for young people — you’ll be raising your risk of cancer,” says Walfish. “You won’t be as excited as you were in high school.”

Another option is the cream Demerol, which relaxes the vagina and makes it easier to slide in or out of. “There’s a waiting period before it’s effective,” says Walfish, “and if you miss one application, your interest will drop off.

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What is in women’s heads when they aren’t interested in sex?

If your girlfriend is just not interested, don’t panic — there are many reasons why this may be happening. “There are many causes for a woman to lose interest in sex,” says Walfish. “Anxiety, depression, medications, and even lack of privacy can create problems with libido. A healthy man is a sexual man, and many of us lose our libido when we’re not feeling well or happy.”